How the Military Has Prepared Us for Continual Transition- Part 1

As we get closer to embracing military life in full force and, God willing, going on active duty orders, I wanted to start sharing more about our life in that world. Our journey in the military is not what people typically think of when they think of a “Military Family.” At least, I have often been confronted with befuddled faces as I try to explain it. As a National Guard family, we are not on the typical rotation of duty stations, and up to this point, we haven’t lived on base. However, Alexis has been primarily full-time during his military career, so he works in full uniform daily and is susceptible to deployments and long training periods, just like any other military personnel. Alexis’ job has been in the logistics field as a Quartermaster (Lord willing, that will change to Chaplain). He doesn’t run into buildings like many of his brave friends, but he is the guy who helps them get there with the needed supplies and support. During our time in Poland, he was the lead point of contact for setting up several base camps for soldiers and refugees. The military is full of unique jobs, and although that might sound like a “duh” statement, the military field can sometimes be a misunderstood organization.

However, it is probably fairly common knowledge that military families must adjust to a great deal of separation. Not only might soldiers be gone for large chunks of time, but often, the communication is last minute, and families may get separated with little to no warning. This means that as a military family, it is imperative to get on board with the roller coaster, or chances are, there will be suffering. There are numerous (!) blessings to this life as well, which is why we wouldn’t trade it in, but it’s a unique path.

I recently shared our “Introduction to the Military Life” story with a wife here at the seminary. I always tell people this story might sound horrible to an outside listener, but it was also the best way for me to embrace our new normal. When we started down this path, I was tossed into the deep end from the beginning, and I have had to learn how to tread water and make the most of this life ever since.

When Alexis signed up, we had already been married for three years, so I have been along since the inception, which is not always the standard route for couples. He was set to leave for Basic Training and Officer Candidate School in Georgia on February 16th, and we would be separated for seven months. I decided to book us a Valentine's weekend at a resort in Girdwood, Alaska. We were going to go from the 12th-14th, and as soon as we got home, we knew he would have to report to MEPS (military entrance processing station). Well, February 9th rolled around, and it was 06:30 in the morning, and Alexis got a phone call that said, “Where are you?! You’re supposed to be reporting to MEPS!” Dazed and confused, we hopped out of bed; Lex packed up a few things, and I dropped him off. That was it. I said goodbye right then and there… for the next seven months—the first 2 or 3 months of that time with nothing but written letter communication.

I remember going to my parent’s house, and when they opened the door, I just started crying and said, “He’s gone.” There was nothing I could do. It was awful. However, it was probably the best thing for me and us. We grew so much through that experience, and yes, I kept the weekend getaway reservations and went on my own. :) That’s just how I roll. Haha!

This all leads me to how our life in the military has prepared us for seminary and a continual life of transition. Some of this comes from our general life experiences, but I credit much of it to the military. We have created and fostered a reasonably successful formula of sorts that helps us navigate this road. Although I am sure it will get some tweaks as we continue, it’s been a great help in keeping us relatively sane and our family intact. As I always say, being a military wife means being open to change and flexibility, so who knows, one day, this might all go out the window, but for now, it’s working.

*Seeing one another for the first time after our first significant separation

In part 2 of this post, I’d like to share more specifics about our approach to Boundaries, Friendships, Separation, Faith, and Outlook. Through all these changes, our goal is to try and remain focused on Christ and His Church and do our best to embrace the positive while being open and honest about our challenges. As always, thank you for joining our family's story.

Wishing All a Blessed Holy Week & Joyous Pascha!

We are on the home stretch!

God be with you,

The Clod Crew