Our Bubble & The Opportunity

"Embracing Opportunity"

Recently, an opportunity presented itself and got me thinking about the topic, "Why are we really here?" And by "here," I, of course, mean at Seminary with my family. It's easy to get bogged down by how things might need fixing, and we might get swept into a spiraling pit of despair if we aren't careful. Thankfully, I don't feel that type of sorrow, but all this has made me ponder, "Why does being here feel clunky," and "What does that mean, or how can I use this to shape my soul for the better?"

Some of the feelings that have rattled around, that I am sure others can relate to, include: feeling like I don't fit in, feeling left out, or even feeling a little useless. While my other half stays busy with his coursework, service schedules, and regular social routine, my role is far too passive for my liking. After all, it took me six years to say "yes" to Seminary, and I said no in the first place because I felt this vocation was not just for that of the husband but for that of the wife as well. Therefore, now that I have said yes, my thought process has taken me to the place of, "Okay, I am here now. What do you want me to do?" I dislike spinning my wheels. "Patience, Delaney… there is probably a point to this."

There is a myriad of priest-wife-types, and each brings their skills to the table, but I do firmly believe that if you want to have a successful and fruitful tenure as a priest, your wife has got to be on board (at the very least) with the mission and how she fits into all of it. It's no different than in our military world. If I complained, cried, and stomped my feet every time plans changed (which is always), our marriage and our spiritual life would likely suffer. If you know me, you know I am a doer. I like having things to keep me occupied, and I have always been an incredibly active member of any parish I have attended.

All these jumbled thoughts have led me to my most recent reflections on "embracing opportunity." As I mentioned, I have always been pretty involved as a parishioner. Still, I have found that there is little to be involved with consistently, so instead, I have found that the opportunities are different. These opportunities fall much more deeply into the category of spiritual development, which, duh, I need to work on, and those opportunities are endless!

We live in this unique bubble that I often remind myself (as encouragement) isn't "normal." We are in a relatively isolated location, not Alaska wilderness isolation, mind you, but it's unique. If we take advantage of it, this spiritual bubble can prepare us for what is to come at the end of all this when we get tossed into the "real world" with "real people" and "real problems."

My opportunity here is to embrace working on myself spiritually and building a solid foundation of faith for my family that will carry us through when temptation sneaks up "on the outside." It would be foolish of me not to capitalize on this while here. So instead of being bummed that I don't have my typical girl group to hang out with it, or a function to orchestrate, I am working on embracing the opportunity to grow spiritually by attending more services, making more frequent visits to confession, and familiarizing myself more deeply with the Church Calendar… something we cradle Orthodox kids can find tedious. I know this will benefit not only myself but my family as well. As our Abbot, Father Sergius, reminded all of us wives most recently, "Our struggles here are not in vain." God sees and hears us, and there will come a day when we look back and say, "That's why… that's why we went through that." I, and I am sure you, have seen this countless times in your life, and it's a lovely and humbling reminder that God is always with us.

Plenty of things can make this place difficult, but we must shove away those distractions from the devil and refocus ourselves on why we are here. The chance to grow in faith with relatively minimal distraction and ample opportunity is a beautiful gift. At the end of this chapter, our goal is to give the best of ourselves to God and others, especially those in The Church. We can only do that if we fix ourselves first. Working out our salvation will be a lifelong journey; it doesn't stop after Seminary, of course, but what an opportunity to build a strong foundation for our life of servitude.

As I close out this entry, I hope all are beginning to prepare for Lent with a joyous heart, not the oh-so-common grumbles. Pascha will be here before we know it, and as always, I cannot wait! May Christ be with all of us, and here's to embracing our opportunities wherever they may be.

With Lots of Love from PA,

The Clods